Last Day of School

Some images from our last day of school--leaving and going.

Akasaka

Related to the previous post about Subway, there are just times when you are living abroad that you HAVE to get comfort foods. Unfortunately for us, our comfort food happens to be one of the most expensive around—Japanese—and in Chennai, this means the most expensive restaurant in the city—Akasaka. However, it would be accurate to state that Akasaka has been a vital part of our time in India. Not only in the regular provision of Japanese rice, Kaia’s onigiri, occasional sushi (yes, we have eaten sushi in India!), and my donburis, but also in that this was how we were put into contact with Joyce, who’s ‘Uncle Cyril’ is the manager there. Back in April of last year, we were talking to him about the need to find someone to help out with Kaia and he recommended her to us. The staff at Akasaka are really, really great. In addition to Cyril, there are Joseph, Vincent, Ryan, Elvis (yes, the King works here) and Jagan. The owners are Japanese and they have two grandchildren who are a bit older than Kaia and who run around, thoroughly entertaining him.

Like Subway, it isn’t that the food is so great—to be sure it is marginal at best Japanese food—but it certainly does the trick, I just wish that it did the trick at half the price! When I did a quick tally of all of our Akasaka receipts from the past year, they came to close to $1,000! Hmm, I wonder if that has something to do with the good service;) But we have nothing to complain about with our relationship with Akasaka. It has also been a great entry point into the Japanese expat community and we’ve been invited to a number of really fun, swanky events.

Why I Love this Time: Kaia’s turtles and fish in the Akasaka fish tanks.

Subway

When you live or travel away from your country of origin for a long period of time, you develop cravings that lead you to do things that you would never think about doing were you still ‘at home’: listening to an Eagles song in a restaurant, watching Everybody Loves Raymond on satellite, or in my case, eating regularly at the local Subway sandwich restaurant. You see, much of the world (especially Japan) still doesn’t do the sandwich thing very well and, as an American, there are few things that can satisfy me at lunch more than a mix of meats and veggies in-between two slaps of non-white bread. For this, there is no place I can go in this city that can do it for a better price than the Besant Nagar Subway.

Kaia’s standby at Subway is the 6” tuna sandwich with extra olives and it can last for both lunch and dinner. He can almost order the thing himself by now and since we go in about once every ten days, the staff there know well that Kaia loves his black olives. As soon as they see him, they prepare a small plate with olives for him to munch while I order. Sometimes, they’ll even take him in the back to watch them prepare his sandwich.

In most respects, the Indian Subway experience is exactly like the American one. While it has been probably 10 years since I ate at one in the US the setup here is much like I remember others to be. The young men carry the euphemism of “Sandwich Artist” and the host of toppings and sauces are ready for your selection. However, with the large number of vegetarians—strict vegans in the Western sense—they have divided the sides into “veg” and “non-veg” so that the sides do not intermingle. Of course, there are also the Indian fusion sandwiches like the Paneer Tikka with mint chutney or Lamb Masala, which are incidentally quite good. If you would have told me that I’d be eating at Subway nearly 20 times over the past year, I’d have argued that there was no way. But in retrospect, it was actually quite decent and served a nice change of pace from time to time.

Why I Love this Time: While I have enjoyed the restaurants here in Chennai, I think more than the food itself—which is good, but upon reflection nothing particularly special (that is, the non-South Indian stuff)—is the service and people who work at these places we frequent. Kaia and I will miss them tremendously.

P. James Magic Show

One of the first things that one notices in this city are the humungous advertisements on what seems to be every square inch of public space--Towering billboards promoting the latest in consumer goods, colorful wall paintings paying homage to a favorite Tamil film star, government signage urging citizens to practice traffic safety and family planning. If I could read Tamil, I would probably be more affected by the never-ending advertisements (which, incidentally if it hasn’t already started, I suspect advertising and marketing will be the next big outsourcing of Western business to capable Indian hands—these are VERY slick and professional done adverts). Though our regular driving pathways I have some to recognize how you can recognize the change in season, or time of year simply by being mindful of the change in billboards. More sari ads around Diwali, AC ads leading up to the hot (April-June) summer months, jewelry for wedding season. Yet, although the cost to advertise must be a fraction of the cost that it would be in say, a large Western metropolis, the cost is still prohibitive for most. Many still rely upon the more low-tech means of getting their name out. Perhaps the best example of this in Chennai is P. James, the magician.

It was back in the fall when I visited an area of the city that I had never been to before and saw the “P. James Magic Show” advert painted on a wall that I realized just how this fellow had really canvassed the city with his name and telephone number. Since that time I have kept a keen eye for his trademark black lettering that can, really, be just about anywhere; and that is what makes it both interesting and fun. In some ways it is a form of urban, guerrilla art, running counter to the professionally produced billboard ads. I particularly like it because whomever paints the ads (I have noticed new ones coming up here and there) is really consistent in their scripting. I would imagine that Mr. James is in a constant battle with the Public Works folks painting over his signs and, since his phone number is there, he is not hard to track down.

For Kaia and I, P. James has become sort of a mythical figure. A man who not only pulls cobras out of his mystery bag, but who can also materialize fire from his palms and saw Brahmin women in half. I still haven’t had the nerve to call him up, but intend to do so before we leave. I’d love to know what kind of response he gets from his ads and how he’s had to pay off the local authorities to keep them off his back. But then again, he’s a magician, so I’m sure he’s got the whole creating illusions and escaping danger thing down. While we’ll never likely be able to see his show in person, he’ll always be the great performer in our memories of Madras.

Why I Love this Time: Chocolate for breakfast!?! I don’t know if you could say that my parenting is getting better.

Dollar Store

In the past few months, the discount retail trend so popular in the US and Japan has taken root in India—the $1 store. Of course, it is fundamentally strange to think shopping for American ‘discounts’ in India when one of the most striking things about living here is how you can find so many things at a fraction of the cost that you would spend for the same in the US. But what makes this so ironic is that, in fact, things are not priced at $1 each, but 100 rupees, which is about $2.25! For this reason, while much of the items are the kinds of surplus things that you find in a dollar store in the US—cleaning agents, sugar laden cereals, off-brand canned goods—shoppers here in India end up paying over TWICE the amount for the same crap! Now there is a business plan with serious hubris.

When we were living in Japan, the 100 yen store was one of our favorite places to shop. With Japan being so expensive, 100 yen stores are very popular among consumers and it is easy to see why folks shop there—I mean, why pay 500 yen for a pen, when you can get the same one for 100 yen down the street? However, here the rationale is completely different. Here the question is flipped, “why would you pay 100 rupees for a can of baked beans when you can pay 10 for the Indian equivalent?” This I do not know the answer to, but from the large crowds that I have seen in the store, there are more than a few people who seem to have the answer. Anyway, as a social scientist with an interest in globalization and the problem of cheap food, the Indian $1 store puts a new, different twist on the issue. The fact that folks are willing to pay so much for these ‘fluff foods’ and other cheap, poor quality items (even by Indian standards), is fascinating. Kaia and I ended up buying a small bottle of Gatorade, which like all other items was 100 rupees—hardly a bargain in the States!

Why I Love this Time: Sekar the ‘mouse’.

Bella Ciao

What to say about Bella Ciao? After the nearly $1,000 dollars that we’ve spent at Akasaka over the past year, there is no other restaurant that has been the greater beneficiary of indiamama’s hard earned money. In our first days in the flat, pre-Joyce, Bello Ciao was our second (if not first) kitchen due to its good food and proximity to our place. We have come to recognize the subtleties of the penne with vodka sauce, spaghetti with pomodoro and basilica, the Bella Ciao salad and the brick oven pizzas. It is not great Italian food (and don’t you have to get homecooked to get great Italian?—like from our friend Costanza!), but good enough for us and always a breath of fresh air. The service has been good and they have home delivery, so it has become the default when we want a break from Indian food…

Why I Love this Time: Our evening walks to Bella Ciao along the beach.

Cough

The last few days Kaia has been battling an ever increasing cough, which has been rough enough to disrupt his sleep and, naturally, indiapapa’s as well. I was monitoring its progression and today, when the hack had been joined by a runny nose, I decided to take him to a doctor. While some of indiapapa’s most devoted readers might recall a post about Dr. Sanjon John written just over one year ago, it is amazing how things have changed in that time. If you take the time to read that post and feel the anxiety of indiapapa’s first visit to an Indian clinic, you would be surprised that the same person confidently marched into a new Apollo Center (both new for us and new in the ‘brand spanking new building’ sense) to visit a new doctor—Dr. Latha—who was recommended second hand as a good pediatrician. The main attraction for us was that she was not a hour’s drive away on the other side of Chennai, but actually very close to Kids Central, nearly 1/3 of the distance from our place. We didn’t have many expectations, but any that we did were remarkably exceeded as she was really great. While Dr. John’s clinic has a bit of a rural, Spartan feel to it, this new Apollo medical center comes with all of the trimmings of any clinic that one might see in the US or Japan—all the way down to the children’s play area stocked with the most popular icons from the Cartoon Network. Anyway, more than the clinic itself, was the way that Dr. Latha made us all feel very comfortable, especially Kaia. And while she did make the minor mistake of offering him a play mask (we all know how much our little guys hates clowns and masks), her friendly disposition allowed her to perform the kind of routine tests that she needed to perform without any protests from Kaia. The photo to the left is of two of the very sweet nurses who were helping us.

The final verdict was a cold that had descended into the lungs, but was not likely an infection. She prescribed some medications and within a few days the cough was gone and our little champ was back to doing what he does best—laughing, dancing and keeping us alert at all times.

Why I Love this Time: The challenge of getting him to drink his medicines—and Joyce’s “lion/bear/mouse” eating and drinking game with him.

Joyce

As our days wind down, it is becoming more and more sad that Kaia and Joyce will leave one another. He loves her so much and the feeling is likewise from her. Just this morning, he was distracted and wanting to play rather than eat breakfast, and she sat with him paying a game of “lion and mouse bites” where she got him to eat the entire plate. As the mother of three children, Joyce knows kids well, but even more than that, she has a very special way of meeting them at their level. While I sometimes struggle when Kaia is not ‘behaving’ (but simply being a 2 year old), Joyce has a bottomless reservoir of patience that never ceases to inspire me. I sometimes think what we did to be so fortunate to have her come into our lives as she has been the rock that he kept us all going. I can say without doubt that if she were not here, neither would we. Sometimes I think that she is like our Tamil Mary Poppins, coming in to lift our spirits and care for us in remarkable ways. While I don’t think she can fly, her regular visits to the temple and church to pray for our prosperity and safety surely puts her in the realm of gods. When I think about leaving, I wont really miss having to clean and cook again (frankly, I miss these things), but the incredible loss of love that she given Kaia and our family.

Why I Love this Time: For him to have been able to spend this time with her.

Cake Walk

As in Japan, it is hard to come by good, hearty western-style breads here in Chennai. More common is the light, “Wonder bread” that makes for a decent grilled cheese, but remains nothing less than an unactualized, bleached Twinkie. While we love Indian breads, still there are times when we crave western breads—and frankly it is easier to pull out a piece from the freezer and throw it in the toaster than it is to fry up roti. Anyway, we have a favorite place that we go to get (at least) fresh white bread and pastries, called Cake Walk in Besant Nagar. The folks there are nice and we’ve ordered a few cakes from there—for Kaia and Indiamama’s birthdays—so they know us quite well. Kaia has his favorite muffins and a few months ago was introduced to the pleasure of donuts. Fortunately he eats everything and truly enjoys his food, otherwise I’d be a bit more concerned about his attraction to sweet things.

Why I Love this Time: Walking along the rutted sidewalk, past the stand with pirated DVDs and copied books, gingerly stepping past napping dogs to get a strawberry muffin.

Magnifying Glass

Today Kaia received his first magnifying glass from yet another Kids Central birthday party favor. We did a little searching around for ants and other small creatures on the roof and the beach. He almost lost the magnifying glass when he decided that it was more interesting to carry two rocks instead, and we luckily found it after retracing our steps in the sand. The function of the magnifying glass got me thinking a bit more about this weblog and, as our time here winds down, how it has been a magnifier of sorts of our time here. As well, living here has magnified many of life’s challenges in ways that might not have been the case in other places. Even at times, like an ant under the glass of a young child it seems like I have felt the intense burn of the sun searing down upon our lives, threatening to burst us into flames. It is a dramatic analogy, but true.

Why I Love this Time: This time has not been easy, but it has been unforgettable.

Frogs

This past weekend, we were given an assignment by one of Kaia’s teachers at Kids Central, Fauzi Auntie. In the year-end performance, Kaia is in the frog group and last Friday the five children in this group were learning and practicing their frog leaps. While the other children seemed to get the gist of how to get on all fours and jump, Kaia was determined to sit on his knees and jump like that. The teachers laughed at “Kaia doing his own thing” and tried to get him to understand that this way would hurt his knees, but yet he stubbornly kept ‘jumping’ from his knees. But here is the funny thing--When I asked him to demonstrate to me his frog leap, I was impressed that it really looked more like a frog than in the all fours position! Regardless, there is the need for uniformity among the performing children, so Fauzi asked me to work with Kaia over the weekend to improve his jumping. So, from Friday afternoon on, we hopped around the house together. Make that, I hopped and Kaia laughed at me. Indiamama prepared a nice costume for him over the weekend as well, with flipper stockings. After some practice, by Monday morning, he had gotten used to the different style and we hopped around together a big papa bullfrog and his tiny jumper.

Why I Love this Time: How he knows where all of the working cement mixers are in our area.

Habitat

Tyrone and Ravi, the two senior managers at Habitat, have big smiles in the accompanying photo, and well they should. According to them, over the last fiscal year (it ends in March here) we have purchased more furniture than any other customer (and this is one of the best known furniture stores in the city)! While others may have spent more money, the close to ten pieces (not including the eight dining chairs) that we bought have done wonders for clearing their inventory. As you might imagine we’ve become quite close to these folks and learned early on that the name of the game at Habitat is to bargain, and bargain hard. Whatever the price tag says (yes, they actually put price tags on the items) you can start the negotiations at 40% of that price and work your way up from there. Of course, there is a greater chance of getting your price if you purchase more things, and most of our purchases have been of multiple items. The items at Habitat seem to match the tastes of Indiamama quite well and Tyrone has a nice way (obviously very convincing) of explaining the history of various pieces. Most of the things that we have bought from Habitat are old pieces where the wood has been ‘reclaimed’ from homes that were demolished. This wood, an Indian teak called “shesham”, grows in higher elevations of the Himalaya and many of our pieces are made from original pieces that used Nepali trees. As for the sustainability of the tree harvesting, this I cannot say for sure, but at least when you Google “shesham clear cut” or “shesham deforestation” you don’t read about how folks are being displaced or massive erosion problems. And, hey, if Google doesn’t catch it, it doesn’t exist. Right?

Kaia’s favorite part of being at Habitat is their large, air conditioned, carpet room. Generally we visit Habitat on a day where we’re hitting other places and this means a lot of time in the car and stores where there are a lot of breakables or other stuff that he shouldn’t be getting into (although the patience of Indian folks doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable having a small child while shopping). The carpet room at Habitat, however, is a place where he can run around on thousand dollar rugs (!) and climb on the rolled up carpets. For as much as we enjoy being able to have him run around, it seems like the staff at Habitat are equally entertained by his antics.

As much as any place in Chennai, we’ll remember Habitat simply due to the fact that we have so many pieces of furniture to remind us. When we moved here, we were only ‘allowed’ (read: our shipping allowance covered) to take a few boxes, so basically we had to fully furnish our place with local things. Since there is little to no resale market, we made the decision to spend a bit more money and purchase very nice things that we would keep and ship back. Fortunately for us, the shipping policy changed while we’ve been here, so all of the things that we have purchased here will be covered. Now the next questions are: finding a place in the US that will fit all of our new things and what to do with all of our things in storage that just don’t really hold their salt when compared to the antiques we’re coming home with…

Little Italy

A few months ago we discovered a great restaurant, not far from Habitat, called Little Italy. They use a lot of imported ingredients and, I suspect, have some growers that they’ve contracted with to provide them with basil, arugula and other greens that you rarely find in local markets. The food is quite good, with a nice selection of pizzas, pastas and salads, but what makes it is most appealing to us (of course) is how the staff relates to Kaia. Just like in other places, Kaia is greeted like a VIP and immediately whisked away while we order our food in a rare, peaceful moment. Of course, he comes back excited—and with fistfuls of sweets—so there generally is some price to pay with having to deny him some things. But in all, it is a great place to dine with him.

Toys Kemp

When Kaia was expanding his vocabulary, just a few weeks after arriving here, he would often say, what I heard as “tus kumpf” whenever we would drive in a particular part of the Nungambakkam area. It took me some time to realize that he was referencing the large toy store, Toys Kemp, where we had visited one day. Just in the last year, I have noticed how Toys Kemp has expanded its inventory and selection. Like many retail outlets in Chennai, they are the beneficiaries of a growing number of wealthy consumers and you can see on their shelves (with many prices that are the same as you would pay in the US) that these folks have children. Since the quality of many of the toys sold in India is substandard, and safety basically non-existent, many of the cheaper things are simply not worth buying because they will fall apart so quickly and/or present a dozen ways for your child to injure themselves. I am acutely aware that my safety standards have dropped significantly since I’ve been living here—and I don’t know if that is a good or a bad thing….

Why I Love this Time: Kokosweto music.

Photo Shoot at Studio K

We got our photos back today from the Studio K shoot and they turned out really nice. Here are just a few of them...For those of you reading along in Chennai, the folks at Studio K are really terrific and make the experience very memorable. You bring your own (2) outfits and the sitting takes about 2-3 hours. The entire cost is only Rs. 5,160 (with tax) and you get 8, 8"x10" prints AND a CD with those photos in electronic form. You just can't beat it for something that you would pay ten times the amount for in the States (and not be nearly as pleased).

Bye-Bye Auntie Brynne

Today was a very challenging day for Kaia—lots of fussiness and impatience—and I think that it has to do with the fact that his Auntie Brynne is getting on a plane this evening. He has been with her for nearly three weeks and they have developed a very close bond and even an evening ritual that has been very welcomed in this household—playtime, bathtime, “Kaia burrito” time, and storytime. He will miss her tremendously, I think, but it is tempered by the trip to Hawaii we have scheduled in a few months with all of the family to celebrate Kaia’s 3^rd We are all very excited about it. Having Auntie Brynne here was a really special and memorable time and we had a chance to do some fun things together like the family photo shoot In all, it was a great time and we will miss her very, very much.

Why I Love this Time: With all the anxiety that accompanies this transition, also comes a strong sense that we are engaging life and embracing the messiness of living. It isn’t easy and certainly is not for everyone, but for those who can meet it head on and not turn back, there are very true signals that you are very much alive in such challenge.

Beach Walks

As our time here in Chennai winds down, it is appropriate to reflect on the events and small activities that we’ll miss and that will certainly linger in our memory as India recedes into the past. For certain one of these things is our early evening walk on the beach, buying peanuts, flying kites, eating deep fried chili peppers and hearing all the now familiar and comforting sounds of the Indian beach scene. We have been very fortunate to live so close to the ocean and, while it has meant done a real number on anything metallic, at around 5:15pm, the scene outside our window is transformed into a bustling mecca for those seeking some space and the cooling ocean breeze. Our strip of beach is very popular with local folks—and not foreigners—so it is spared the ubiquitous hawkers and aggressive beggars who glom onto non-Indians and can quickly sour a leisurely time. The scene at our stretch of beach is much more locally flavored: vendors selling food from carts—from Cup ‘o Noodles to “American Organic Sweet Corn” (which incidentally is REALLY good with the masala seasoning!)—balloons shaped in odd configurations that lose their air in about 24 hours, children flying ingeniously made, makeshift kites, people of all ages…it is a truly wonderful time to be outside and sharing space with people living their lives. It is during these times that I feel the most connected to our place and this country that has become home to us. We now see the same folks, share greetings (and Kaia, peanuts), and visit the beach temple on a regular basis. We even have familiarize ourselves with the mangy stray dogs that call this slice of Chennai home. The one in this shot is the one I think looks a bit like a water buffalo. Anyway, Kaia and I are really going to miss these times. In fact, as I’m writing this, Kaia is getting his shoes and socks ready so that we can go down to the beach…

Why I Love this Time: Peanuts wrapped in a newspaper cone.

Special Puja

Today we watched a morning special puja that a local temple was holding at the beach. It was a very memorable experience. In fact, I just sort of stumbled upon in, walking back from my morning run and was so intrigued by what was going on, that I had to go get Kaia. By the time that I got there, there were about 55 stainless steel jars, each filled with water and topped by a coconut and what, I think was a neem leaf, lined up on a small platform that someone had shaped out of sand. The priests were chanting the names of the people who had paid to participate in this special event and a crowd of about 100 people had gathered around the vessels. I certainly stood out in my running garb among the saffron dhotis and colorful saris, so a woman handed me a paper (in Tamil) that, presumably, explained what was going on. Of course, it would not be until after I got home and I could ask questions of Joyce, that the full picture became clear about the event.

Shortly after I arrived on the scene, the head priest began a sort of liturgy where people responded by repeating certain things he was saying. Of course, I was no less lost than I would be in a Catholic mass, but when people started to kneel and bow in the sand, I definitely needed to (literally) take a step back and get a less intimate view. It was soon after the liturgy was finished that one of the other priests (there were about 15 in all) started to wail and sway violently from side to side. It looked like he was having some sort of seizure, and when it escalated to rolling down shoreline into the surf with arms flailing, I was sure that he was possessed. As it turns out, this is a sign that the god they are doing this puja for has “arrived”. That is, the liturgy is to invite the god to join them and unless it manifests itself in a human being, the ceremony cannot begin. Makes we wonder if the god ever does NOT show up, but who am I to nitpick. It was funny because the first thing is my mind when I was watching this unfurl was how some of the other priests has this look like, “He’s so lucky that he got to be the one possessed by God.”

After the rites and rituals were completed, a group of drummers and two horn players seemingly materialized from thin air and started really jamming. This was when I knew I had to get Kaia. I ran up to our place, to find that he was already watching and listening from the window. We quickly changed clothes and then ran back to follow the, now moving procession back to the temple from where they came. We walked with them for about a mile before we were too tired and needed to head back. As we were walking together, I realized yet again how much I will miss living here and this time together. You are not going to find this kind of thing coming home from a morning run in Seattle, that’s for sure. India has so many things going on. So many lives being led. So many stories to experience. I am so thankful that I have been able to share this with Kaia and will miss it more than I can ever adequately express.

Why I Love this Time: I finally caught the paper man on video!

Swimming and Photos

Today we did two things that we’re been meaning to do for some time—take a dip in the Le Royal Meridien hotel and have a formal family portrait taken at Studio K. The first activity has been predicted on our next door neighbor being the President/Chairman of the hotel and—to put it in crass terms—have yet to take him up on his hospitality. In terms of our regular luxury hotel haunts in the city, the Meridien is not high on the list, mostly due to the fact that it is further away than most others. We actually went there for an odd, if disappointing Christmas Eve dinner, but had not been back since. Today, along with Auntie Brynne, we escaped from the mounting Chennai humidity into their nice outdoor pool. Unlike some pools in the city (like the Park Sheraton) where the depth goes to like 12 feet!?!, the Meridien pool is fully “walkable” which makes it nice for carrying Kaia around. It did bring back fond memories of our old Club and Kaia even asked, “Papa, where’s the statue?” in reference to the statues that we used to splash there. After about an hour of lounging and frequently
freaking out by Kaia’s all-too-close forays with dropping into the pool, we enjoyed a nice lunch at the hotel’s coffee shop, Cappuccino.

At 4:00pm we had an appointment at Studio K, the first and only “modern”, professional portrait studio in the city. For some time we had the idea that we wanted to recognize our time here with a formal family portrait, dressed in full Indian garb. That Kaia’s Auntie was in town made for a perfect time to motivate and make it happen. I was pretty worried, since the appointment was scheduled during Kaia’s nap time, but was hoping that we could manipulate the timing of things—not to mention the power of chlorine in the eyes to initiate sleep!—so that he’d actually wake up before 4:00. It was looking a bit shaky when we left the hotel at 2:00pm, but after some comforting Bharatayanatyam music (his favorite) on the iPod, he was
fast asleep. We did, in fact, wake up just before 4:00pm…it is so funny how you life becomes ruled by nap time and devising ways to get around it so that you can still have a life. As further evidence of his musical interest, here he is with his new toy—a wooden flute.

Anyway, the photo shoot was really fun and memorable. For about $120 (including 10 8x12 photos and a CD with the images) you have a 2-3 hour session with a really great photographer and amazing professional hair and makeup people. I wasn’t expecting that it would be so formal, but they really did a great job with Auntie Brynne and indiamama’s makeup and hair, even helping them to get into the saris just perfectly. There were certainly times when I felt like we were preparing for a wedding! Kaia had on his new kurta (although we all had a change of clothes for the different shots) and we enjoyed watching the ladies get ready.

Inside the studio, everything looked the same, except for one big difference—mounted on the ceiling was a huge plasma screen television that allows you to see the photos immediately after the shot is taken. It was quite helpful to see. Kaia did a pretty good job for a 3 hours photo session, although the lollipop that I gave him in-between shots made the second one a bit sugar fueled. In the end, you sit in another room with a large plasma screen and select the 8-10 shots that you want. It is a really nice, and quick, process that towers over any other formal sittings that I have done in the past. The shots will be ready on Friday, and they came out really nice, everyone looks great and there are some with Kaia that are truly him. It was a great experience and, afterwards, when we all went out to dinner at a local hotel, there were so many heads turning at who these people were dressed so formally like Indians!?! It was a very memorable night on the town.

Why I Love this Time: How with each day you can hold more complicated conversations together. It never ceases to amaze me about how quickly these little people develop.

Great-Grandma Yamamoto

Since we’ve been in India, Kaia has lost two of the four great-grandparents who were living at his birth. Last August, indiamama’s grandmother passed away after a long illness, she was 92. In December, indiapapa’s Grandpa Uyesugi returned to his place in centerfield at the age of 87. Without question it has been difficult being so far away from family during these times of mourning and loss. Over the past few months, Kaia’s great-grandma Yamamoto has been very ill and her days on this Earth are winding down as well as her kidneys rapidly breakdown. I don’t know if we will be able to say goodbye to her in person—as many family and friends have been able to do at her home in Laguna Hills, California—but she holds a special place in our hearts and, at 90 years old, has lived a full, exemplary life where family always came first.

Growing up, I spent much less time with my dad’s parents than my mother’s parents. This is not to say that I didn’t see them that regularly, but whereas I would see my Uyesugi grandparents every week, I might see my Yamamoto grandparents every few months. They lived 45 minutes away from our home in Laguna Beach and for a young child, it might as well be the other side of the world. For this reason, I was never particularly close to my Grandma Yamamoto when I was young. However, there were three incidents in my adult life that would lead to a change; where I would come to see her in a different light and deepen my love and respect for her.

The first was as a university student where I had the epiphany that happens to many Nikkei sansei and yonsei folks where you learn that the “camp” consistently referred to among extended family conversations and general references (“He was in Tulare, wasn’t he?”) was not of the summer variety with swimming holes and arts and crafts, but with barbed wire and dusty barracks where civil liberties were as remote as the camp location. In 1941, by the time that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor my Grandmother was caring for three children under the age of seven, with one about five months along in her belly. After she gave birth to my dad in April of the following year, she would not return to the comforts of the family home, but to a relocation center where the family was preparing to be shipped off to the desert. Not long after ‘settling’ into a their new tar papered ‘home’, her husband was taken away by armed guards in the middle of the night, not to be heard from for months. Here she was, four kids, in the dark as to the whereabouts and safety of her husband and living in bleak concentration camp. When I learned about the details of the story during my undergraduate years, I turned to my grandparents and wondered how they could not be angry at what the United States had done to them. Their “shoganai” (nothing can be done) response initially seemed unsatisfying to me, but over time I began to understand things differently. As a parent I could see how important it was for her to maintain her strength and composure in the face of this terrible injustice. As a partner I could only imagine what it would be like to lose your spouse during such a time. I can remember coming back from the birth center, hours after Kaia’s birth and having this momentary wave of terror wash over me as I realized that this little creature was full dependent upon me. Of course, this was in the comforts of my own home, surrounded by more baby gadgets than one can ever need. My fears and insecurities are quite embarrassing when I contemplate my grandmother’s strength in the face of tremendous adversity.

The second moment that brought me closer to my grandmother happened once I became interested in farming. Her and her husband were small truck farmers for many years, growing all kinds of row crops from collards greens to strawberries. When I started farming in 1995, my grandfather was still alive, albeit very weak and bedridden. After I began bringing by boxes of the organic fruits and vegetables from my farm my grandparents looked at me with equal parts disbelief and concern (Did we work this hard so that our progeny would still be small farmers?!?) and in fact, the last words that my grandfather said to me, literally on his deathbed, were “hyakusho no seikatsu, dame!” (The farmer’s life is very bad!). My grandmother was less direct, but often would ask me if I really wanted to be a farmer. I tried to explain about my approach to agriculture from the community development and education side, but years of rolling the dice on farming commodities that would result in little money even in the best years, had given her a very hardened, pragmatic perspective. But once we moved beyond the incredulity, there were things that we were able to share about her expert knowledge related to bugs and fertilizers that no one else in the family could truly appreciate. These are some of the fondest interactions that I ever had with her.

The final incident that brought my grandmother and I closer together was when I married indiamama. Although my grandmother is a second generation Japanese American, she speaks fluent Japanese as a result of being married to a Japanese immigrant. While there are many in my family who can converse in Japanese, there are no native speakers other than my wife, so from the very beginning there connection between them. As well, my wife developed a closeness to her (and to all of my Japanese speaking grandparents) by virtue of this shared language--although at times it was really old-school, pre-war Japanese that she was shocked that they used! From the first time Kaia met her, they immediately bonded and her was laughing and smiling in her lap. We are hopeful that we will be able to say goodbye to her in person when we return to the US. We love you grandma and Kaia sends his kisses.

Why I Love this Time: Runaway caterpillars and worms from our potted “Christmas Tree”.

Parent-Teacher Conference

I think that one of the more overlooked milestones in one’s development as a parent is the first parent-teacher conference. For the first time, you are hearing feedback from someone who has spent significant time with your child, who is not a close relation or (necessarily) friend and who has a great deal of professional experience from which to draw upon in their assessment of your child. As much as I would like to claim that I understand Kaia as well as anyone, there are certainly aspects to his character that I just don’t see. I mean how many parents can really be objective about their own children? Anyway, yesterday was our first parent-teacher conference with Kaia’s teachers at Kids Central and it was quite memorable. Kaia stayed at home with his Auntie, preparing “food for dinner” (see photo) while we attended.

Our meeting was scheduled from 2:50pm to 3:10pm and it was required that both parents attend. My wife left work early to be there in time and I met her there after finally getting our car back from the mechanic. I thought that I had arrived early when I got there at 2:40, but indiamama was already upstairs with the other teachers and I went up to meet them. When I walked in I was a bit surprised—all six of the teachers (Sindu, Fauzi, Prithi, Asha, Raeni and Nasira) and Valli, the Director of Kids Central—were there seated around a kids’ sized table in a semi-circle, with Kaia’s mama facing them all, and next to her an open, children’s chair for me. It initially struck me like an oral examination—one of the awful academic nature—but after a few pleasantries it was clear that this was not a place that we’d be defending anything.

They had prepared two pages of notes regarding Kaia’s development and behavior over the past three months and we went down the sheet, one by one. This was their last conference after three days of meetings with parents, so they were all looking a bit haggard, but still all of them were very present and excited about passing on their stories about Kaia. While I could write a great deal about all of the things that they said about the Little Bear, I’ll summarize the main points below with, if available, a little anecdote.

Independent: This was the first thing that they told us about Kaia. According to his teachers, he is very capable in his ability to work on projects by himself and without a great deal of repeated instruction. This didn’t surprise me since he does a lot of activities at home like this (puzzles, blocks, pretend cooking, etc.). Furthermore, children at this age not yet fully aware of other children and often play in parallel universes. So, the fact that he is independent now might change significantly in the next year.

Patient and Attentive: As a part of the first point about independence, Kaia has an unusual patience and attention span for working on things that he is interested in—like puzzles, drawing, reading, etc. Generally, he will try to problem-solve multiple times (like trying different interlocking pieces in a puzzle) and not get frustrated or impatient. As well, he’s not easily distracted and can come back to activities.

Love for Learning: His teachers said that he really loves to learn about new things. This term the theme has been bugs and insects and he has really taken to it—even excitedly spotting the many cockroaches, worms and ants in our flat. I do hope that this is something that we can help to nourish so that it will last his entire life.

Advanced: His main teacher, Fauzi, laughed when she recalled how Kaia often will give her this face when she tries to engage him in an activity that may be too easy for him. She interprets this as him wanting something a bit more challenging—something like, “Why do you want me to count to ten? Don’t you know that I can do that already?” Of course, being ‘advanced’ at this age is, I think, relative to what the child has been exposed to thus far. Kaia has been counting and reading for some time, but it is because we have encouraged him to do so with us. The fact that another 2 ½ year old doesn’t count or know the alphabet is less about nature than nurture, I would say. Yet it does highlight that we will need to make sure that Kaia is consistently challenged

Off-beat: One things that Kaia’s teachers underscored, all in a positive light, is that Kaia is a very unique child for his age. Valli called him “off-beat” and was specifically talking about his quiet engagement, other odd interests—like Carnatic music (Bharatanayam).

A Pensive Observer: For those of you who know Kaia, you know that he’s been this way since Day One of his life. He watches and he listens, and many not talk at all, but this should not be misinterpreted as a lack of engagement. He takes it all in and, apparently, is the same way at Kids Central. This behavior, however, is linked to the next observation by his teachers.

Drawn to Artistic and Intellectual Pursuits: Like we have observed at home, Kaia is very drawn to artistic and intellectual pursuits. He has never been a ‘rough and tumble’, physical boy, but one who prefers to stare at things he finds interesting (like the bullock cart display at Kids Central and the pieces of straw coming out) and gently interacting with other children.

Doesn’t like being in the spotlight: Everyday, they have “circle time” when all of the children get together—about 40 in all. At this time, some will share about their fun in their lives (trips, fun things they did, etc) or simply talk about whatever is on their mind. Sometimes, teachers will ask children questions and when this comes to Kaia, he just clams up. They know that he knows how to respond (what did you do this weekend Kaia?) but he is just not yet comfortable speaking in this environment.

Process-Oriented: While some children are quick to get to the end of tasks (worksheets, for example) Kaia seems to be methodical in getting things done. They showed us the different worksheet activities that he’s done over the past three months and it was really interesting. For example, in some of the matching exercises he’s done, he is very careful not to cross the lines and will even go way around to make sure that they don’t.

Other tidbits:

• Has decided that he will not go to the bathroom at Kids Central:
• Particular activities that he enjoys: Cobra book, bug scrapbook, puzzle room.
• He has been having separation difficulties with Joyce since we told him that we were leaving India last week. Whenever she drops him off now, he cries and doesn’t want to leave her.

After the meeting, we had really wished that we had taped it for posterity sake. It was such a wonderful affirmation of our decision to send Kaia to Kids Central during our time in Chennai and it was such an important part of our lives and his development. It is emotional to think about taking him away from his “Kids C” and the terrific teachers who have truly loved and cared for him. I don’t really know what to expect when we get back to the US, but I do have some anxiety that we’ll be unable to find a place as nice as Kids Central has been…

But what to make of all this? If you’ve read this far you may think that I am the typical over-ebullient parent who pines for a ‘gifted child’. But I don’t know. It is really wonderful to hear that your child is developing well, but at the same time it poses some real challenges ahead for our parenting—will we be able to provide him with the right environment for him to flourish? Even more than this, however, is how frightening the similarities are between Kaia and indiapapa at this young age. We are not entirely the same, however (I think he laughs and is, generally, a much more gregarious personality than I ever was), but the 90/10 personality split between me and my wife certainly makes him tilt toward me. I have really mixed feelings about this because I know how difficult my childhood was at times due to my pensiveness. Yet, at the same time, I think I can help to put him in situations where he can flourish and still grow his really sweet, social side. So many challenges, this parenting thing.

Why I Love this Time: Experiences like this one that can only be truly appreciated by me and one other person.

Bathtime with Auntie Brynne

Recently Kaia has been enjoying bathtime with his Auntie. During this time that she’s been here they have developed a very close bond and he really, really loves her. In this photo they are counting piggies and enjoying bathtime in ways not seen since the Japanese ofuro.

Why I Love this Time: Witnessing Kaia’s deep capacity to laugh and love.

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Boy

It has been some time since Kaia and I have spent the afternoon painting. Indicative of the speed in which this time in India has sped by, while I hadn’t thought it was so long, it turns out that it was nearly a year ago—last May, that we took up the brush together. Since that time, of course, he has enjoyed painting at Kids Central and brought home a number of pieces, including the work at left of “snakes eating olives”. Yesterday I decided to break out the painting stuff because his nap only lasted 30 minutes and we needed some fun stuff to do inside during the heat of the afternoon. As we were taking the various brushes and jars out (and he was literally jumping up and down with excitement saying “painting! painting!”) I was really impressed with how much he’d changed since the last time we’d painted. Whereas the last time he was wielding the brush with blunt strokes, this time he was very gentle with his dips and even knew how to take excess paint off by using the edge of the paint jar. When I asked him where he learned to do this, he laughed and said, “At Kids C papa!”

He really seems to love his painting, but where it became really fun for him was when I let him dip his hands into the paint. I assume that they don’t take this reckless approach at Kids Central for obvious reasons, but it was really fun to watch him explore the sensation of paint on his hands and how he could make his mark. Once he learned that he could make his mark all over his body, it was all downhill from there. I kept thinking about Arrested Development and Tobias’ Blue Man Group hand print all over the Bluth model or the boy-sized Incredible Hulk as he was slathering himself in the “ink”, giggling all the way. It was really funny. Closer to home, it reminded me a bit of Holi, the festival of color—well, at least if he had a few more hues to paint himself with. Anyway, what it all resulted in was a really fun piece of art that will adorn our walls for years to come. Still he hasn’t given it a name, so we’re just calling it “snakes eating Kaia’s hand” for now.

Why I Love this Time: The routine of going to the nearby temple at dusk.

Cedars and Hip Asia

Because we eat out so regularly, I had thought about doing entries for each of the restaurants that we frequent. This is mostly because Kaia has become a familiar face to many and is almost greeted in a “Cheers, Norm like” fashion with “Hello Kaia!” and lots of pinches on the cheek. Indiapapa is but an accessory to all of this. Anyway, while I don’t think that I’ll get to all of the places, I thought that I would start with two places that we really like: Cedars and Hip Asia.

Cedars is a Mediterranean restaurant located very close to Kids Central in the neighborhood of Kotturpuram. We first were brought to it for the Sunday brunch menu of pitas, hummus, chicken shwarma and a whole host of other treats, but what ultimately has brought us back time and time again has been the Rs. 395 ($9) ‘unlimited’ dinner special. This special offers a great change of pace to the typical South Indian fare of masala dosais and spicy chutneys, with a wide range of dips and salads seasoned with refreshing mints and tangy flavors. The unlimited consists of six courses:

• the first, a salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, pita chips, and oil;
• the second, six dips--garlic cream, hummus, baba ganoush, tabuleh, spicy pepper, and pomegranate--with hot pita breads;
• the third, kababs—paneers, mushrooms, peppers, fish, chicken and lamb
• the fourth—chicken swarma pita sandwich or falafel, depending on if you order the ‘veg’ or ‘non-veg’ course;
• the fifth—marinated mushrooms
• the sixth—bread pudding and a marbled biscotti drenched in chocolate sauce.

Of course, being that it is the ‘unlimited’ if you want more of anything, all you have to do is ask and within minutes your bowl is filled right back up. Kaia, amazingly, eats everything—from the mushrooms to the falafel—even, at times, more than us! We go here about every three weeks and the staff—Selvam, Gabriel, Ravi—are always very warm and helpful. We’ll miss this place.

Hip Asia is located in the Taj Connemara hotel, one of the most luxurious hotels in Chennai. They’ve caught the wave of south-east Asian food trend that is sweeping many places (does Seattle really need a Thai restaurant on EVERY block?) and created a menu that incorporates the cuisines of Thailand, Vietnam and Malaysia. Expectedly, there’s lots of curries and they do a good job with those—but there is also teppanyaki grill, which makes up for its cultural incongruity with its Benihana-like chefs and availability of Japanese rice. It is pretty expensive to get items from the teppanyaki bar (about Rs.300 ($7) for a shrimp fried rice), but for a family craving Japanese rice, it is well worth it. What makes Hip Asia so attractive has been this “Hip Lunch” where you can taste a lot of the menu for only Rs. 395 ($9). At first, before the concept was really refined, you could order anything off of the menu—as many dishes as you wanted for the Rs. 395! Of course, since then they’ve wised up a bit and limited the number of selections, but it is still a great menu to eat from. Kaia usually is happy with the fried rice, but also the spring rolls and pandanas chicken. Like Cedars, the staff are very friendly and really love Kaia. In the photo here, you can see two of the teppanyaki chefs teaching Kaia how to season fried rice.

Why I Love this Time: I wonder how this boy’s extended palette will translate into a lifetime of eating pleasure…