Bye-Bye India

“Don’t take my refrigerator! That’s my refrigerator! I don’t like these men…” This what Kaia was crying, or more accurately, what was echoing in our cavernous home, as the last of the things made its way out the door. It has been a very difficult day for Kaia—lots of crying (I don’t think that he’s been right all day), he’s got a cold (which should be a blast on the plane) and his life is in complete disarray. I don’t feel good about it. In fact, I feel down right shitty about it, to go along with the dozen of other painful things that go into leaving a place. I know that the past few months this weblog has been mostly mailing it in, lacking the kind of personal writing and insight of, dare I say, earlier postings. I think it is because I’ve know for some time now that this day would come and, deep down, I didn’t ever want it to. I love India. I love living here. I love Kaia living here. Having to watch him suffer like this is really hard.

Why I Love this Time: I started this little regular section as a foil to when some bloggers will end their posting with what music they’re listening to while writing or what mood folks are in that day. Well, this part kind of challenged me to think for every posting why I loved this time, here in India, with Kaia—being his indiapapa. Admittedly, there were times when I just didn’t feel it to write something that I was ‘loving’, but it was as good device for me to get back into the moment, just a bit. Now that I am posting the last entry from India (the internet connection is the LAST thing to go), I cannot say that I am loving this time. All that consumes me/us is sadness and loss. Sure I know that there are brighter days ahead, but right now I’ll just need to wallow in this for a bit more. We’re headed off to the temple for one last blessing with Sethu, Joyce and Sekar…until post-India, this is indiapapa saying good night and farewell. Thanks to all those who came along for the ride.