Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Auntie Brynne

On Sunday night Kaia’s Auntie Brynne arrived after a long trip from California. Kaia has been looking forward to seeing her for some time—particularly since she was coming with all kinds of presents in tow! Since she works at Trader Joe’s she brought all kinds of great gourmet food stuffs that we have been craving: chocolates, tortilla chips, salami, wine—it has been a real feast the last few days. Kaia too has been really excited ever since he woke up yesterday morning to find her here. She been fighting off a cold since before she got here, but Kaia has pushed her to get well fast with repeated calls to “play Auntie Brynne” and jumps on her chest. Brynne will be here for another 2 ½ weeks during which time she’ll be also working at Izumi’s hospital (she’s training to be a nurse practitioner) and getting a feel for our lives here in Chennai. Kaia is very happy about this as are we.

We spent this evening on the beach, introducing Auntie Brynne to some of the local sights (the sea temple), sounds (peanut man’s bell), and tastes (deep fried chili peppers). As you can see, a few typical ‘friends’ also introduced themselves to her.

Why I Love this Time: Kaia LOVES jackfruit—the huge spiky and ill-smelling fruit—and since it is back in season it is so funny to watch him grub down large bowls of it while doing the “jackfruit dance”. This is a little jig that involves a pirouette and two bunny hops.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Community Event

Each term at Kids Central there is a school wide community event. Last term, if you remember, it was held at a nearby palace along the Adyar river, quite an impressive location. This time it was at a more humble locale—the Kids Central grounds. This term’s theme is “bugs and insects” and children and parents were asked to come dressed up in appropriate themed attire. Conveniently, Kaia has his grasshopper shirt so he was decked out in that, and his mama made us all antennae so that we could attend as a bug family. Being that it was from 400-530pm, Kaia’s typical nap time, he wasn’t in the most energetic of moods (although he hasn’t taken a proper nap in about a week), so it was close to papa most of the time. It being India and all, there was a snake charmer there with a cobra and ‘pet’ lizard tied up to a pole (I’d never seen such things before coming here), as well as face painting and themed food (‘squid sputum’, ‘ladybug pizza’, etc). One of the things that I will really miss about Kids Central is the great diversity of children and families. So many little critters from all over the world interacting with one another….it is really fun to be a part of.

Why I Love this Time:
Being reminded that I should be more mindful and appreciative of these last days here with him....what a unique gift this experience has been.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Crippled Papa

Much has been made here in this weblog about illness. Without a doubt, the past year I have been more chronically ill with this and that nagging virus and bacteria than ever before. You can’t blame it all on the typical culprits such as compromised water, as Kaia’s entry into school has opened our home to the host of necessary childhood illnesses. But whatever the source of infection, being sick has made parenting here very challenging. I have come to expect being sick every 3 weeks or so--just last week I was wondering when the next wave was going to hit our family—and, unfortunately, something always comes around, just like clockwork. The most recent unwanted visitor was an intense gastro-intestinal attack that (literally) uncomfortably close to the symptoms of cholera. The fact that it lasted for nearly four full days told me that it wasn’t the typically food poisoning, and the fact that I couldn’t leave the house because I was ‘incapacitated’ every 15-20 minutes, well that told me that this was going to be a painful ride. Indeed it was, regardless if it brought me closer to one of my favorite novels ever.

There are a few things that I am quite certain that I will not miss when I leave here: the frequency of stomach problems, power surges and cuts that fry electronic devices, our leaking air conditioner that makes the bedroom marble floor a major hazard, and mosquitoes—make that, MOSQUITOES. You could probably add to that, indiamama’s long business trips, and you would have had the perfect storm of a nightmare evening the other night. I wont waste time describing it—indeed I’d like to just forget it—but you can imagine how it was with my condition and her being away in Delhi. Not a fun time.

When I’m sick I often find myself resorting to parenting in a way that I don’t really like—more ‘nos’ and ‘don’t do that’ than I prefer to say. This time around, because I was feeling so crappy, I had to lean on empty threats to try to keep peace. This of course, meant bringing out the ‘clown’. I think I have written about this before, but Kaia has been deathly afraid of clowns ever since he saw these dwarfs dressed up as clowns in a nearby amusement park. By my standards they were pretty scary too and since they were so short, he could really see them at eye level. When one came bounding up to him, he freaked out like I’ve never really seen before. Anyway, about a month ago, we discovered that the “if you don’t (fill in the blank), then the clown will come” works wonders and moves mountains. Usually this form of short-term reward parenting is used in times like leaving places when he doesn’t want to or when he is being very difficult, but it must be used very sparingly for obvious reasons. Since I’ve been sick, however, I’ve probably leaned on it more than I should be…truth be told, it is a perversely wicked little trick that can turn his mood in a heartbeat—from screaming on the ground because he wants to drink juice out of the bottle to sitting up and gripping me tight in silence, whimpering “no clown come, no clown come.” I know that he’s going to hate me for it down the line.

Why I Love this Time: “So funny papa, that’s so funny.”

Friday, February 17, 2006

Music

Some of the more devoted readers of indiapapa know that Kaia has a real affinity for traditional Indian music and dance. Ever since we took him to multiple performances over the Chennai Music Festival season last December he has been enraptured by the whooopms and twangs of Hindustani compositions. I am anticipating the arrival of a new iPod when Kaia’s Auntie Brynne comes next week from the US and, in preparation, I’ve organized my iTunes with all of the music that we have here, which means a lot of classical Indian. Now Kaia, knowing that all the music is stored in the computer, enjoys sitting at my desk and listening to “dancing music”, of which he has his favorite songs. Keep in mind that the typical ‘song’ can last from 10 to 40 minutes, so he’ll just sit there and stare out the window or at the iTunes visualizer while enjoying the music. I find it to be a very interesting behavior and really wonder what’s going on in his head. Since Bangalore, where we saw a dance performance featuring a male master dancer accompanied by a famous tabla player (who’s CD we have), now he asks for the “man dancing music”—which he can identify after just a few seconds! In fact, he already classified all the 1,400+ songs in iTunes as “papa’s music (anything remotely rockish), mama’s music (anything Latin and in Japanese), kaia’s music (kids songs) and, of course, dancing music”. Really funny. Accompanying this post is a photo of when I caught him alone playing his wooden xylophone while singing songs out of his Japanese song book. As you can see, he’s also set up a group of Ganesha back up singers and a small audience of fruit sellers.

Why I Love this Time: Saying goodbye to go to Kids Central with Joyce—“bye-bye papa, see you later”.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day

Monday, February 13, 2006

Bangalore

For some time we have been meaning to visit Bangalore and experience the epicenter of the information technology (IT) revolution on the subcontinent. Back in 2000 (pre-Kaia) we had visited for a few days, but it was just typical traveler-transit time where you are hardly there in mind. Indiamama was going to be returning from a weeklong business trip and flying out of Bangalore, so Kaia and I decided to meet here there and make a weekend of it. What a great weekend it was. Since Indiamama’s trip was rather stressful, she had requested that we stay in a “poolside resort” kind of place—this led us to the Oberoi, a true oasis in the heart of a bustling city.

Bangalore has many of the problems that affect India’s urban centers—an infrastructure pushed past the breaking point, a booming population, pollution that you can taste, and loads of foreign capital trying to take advantage of the highly educated work force who will work for a fraction of those in other places. Often referred to a the “garden city,” when it is not swallowed up by the thousands of commuters, (as we saw early Sunday morning) it maintains much of the “old world” charm of the pre-liberalized (1993) Indian world. Trees line relatively well maintained roads and the signs of negligent public works—crumbling walkways, makeshift road dividers, swirling litter—that are pervasive in Chennai are not as apparent in Bangalore. We got around town in our friend’s little electric car and wondered what India would be like with more of these economical, quiet, non-polluting little vehicles…But, frankly, what was going outside of the Oberoi’s grounds was not such a concern to us on this trip. This trip was all about indulgence and being pampered. As true as the four different kinds of luxury pillows that we were asked to choose between and the 24 hour “butler service”, I say this without shame.

More than anything, this trip allowed Kaia (and all of us) to experience things that we have been unable to do in Chennai—a roll in clean grass, a real bath, eat salami and gouda cheese, chase butterflies, watch television, listen to frogs… From the time that Kaia ran onto the grounds, he face just lit up—he could ran around without indiapapa at arm’s reach scanning the area for broken glass, stray dogs and uncovered cesspools. Of course, I exaggerate a bit here, but it was like he was an uncaged puppy—doing rolls in the grass, picking flowers and leaping after butterflies—all with an ear to ear grin. It was sweet to watch, but a sense of guilt overcame me in that I felt that I have been denying him these core pleasures of childhood because of this place that we have chosen to live—that is, in Chennai. As someone who used to expose elementary students the wonder of gardens and the environment is it wickedly ironic that my own son has been so locked in this concrete jungle for the past year. It was at this point that I clearly recognized what being here any longer than we need to be would deprive Kaia of. Our time here has been so memorable and he has developed in ways that we can never really know, but I think that we may be nearing the upper limits of what this environment has to offer him…

But living in India has been about the people—our friends and the lifetime relationships that have been fostered during this past year. Two of these folks live in Bangalore, Kaia’s Auntie Muthatha and Uncle Nitin, and spending time with them this past weekend was also really fun. Knowing about Kaia’s affinity for Indian dancing and percussion, they got us all tickets for a performance by two of India’s more famous performers—Ustad Zakir Hussain (on tabla) and Pandit Birju Maharaj (dancing). Kaia actually slept through the first half of it because of the day’s earlier excitement (plane ride! Airport! Bus ride!), but enjoyed it tremendously. On Saturday night we all went out for a tasty Italian dinner where I actually was able to eat something that I have been craving for months—arugula! Kaia grubbed down a whole plate of penne pasta and when I asked him if he was having a fun time, all he said was “so much fun papa”.

Why I Love this Time: To experience these new places together as a family—and to see how Kaia recognizes and loves “family time”.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Uncle Tom, Auntie Lyanda and Claire

Sometime, about 3 weeks ago, our friends Tom, Lyanda and Claire came to India for a long family vacation and we had the please of housing them here on their first night. Last week, they returned to Chennai after a memorable trip through Southern India and found their way back here to our flat by the sea. Kaia really loves to have visitors and when they come with 7 year olds in tow, he’s in heaven! Our guests spent most of their final days here (actually Uncle Tom is staying on another 2 weeks to work with Indiamama’s project) shopping and getting in their final fix of local flavors, but Kaia was still able to spend a lot of fun time playing with Claire and being his happy self. Claire was really great with him and offered glimpses of what life might be like with two children—the tender sight of two little creatures sharing a book or a laugh just melts your heart. Kaia was really sad to see Lyanda and Claire go, as were we all. Sometimes in the storm of Indian intensity you can lose your bearings of those things familiar and comfortable. Being with them and remembering our lives in Seattle—and our imminent re-engagement—was very therapeutic.

Why I Love this Time: “Papa, want to see Culaire.”

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Surprise Party

Today we had a surprise birthday party for Kaia’s mama in a nearby Korean restaurant. It was a complete shock to both her (and Kaia) when they walked in a dark room of the restaurant to be greeted by a loud “surprise!” and about 20 close friends singing happy birthday. The place ended up being a terrific place to hold a party with karaoke machine, long tables, open grills and lots and lots of tasty food. I brought a bottle of good sake that Kaia’s ojiichan had gifted us from Japan and introduced many of our Indian friends to the pleasures of nihonshu. With a chocolate cake with the script in Tamil, it was truly a multi-cultural dining experience and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves, most importantly indiamama.

Why I Love This Time: these kinds of memories.