The Negotiation

Well, yesterday it started. The first of many more to come. It was, simply, Kaia’s first negotiation. We do not have a television here in India, but we do have a region-free portable DVD player which has come in very handy allowing up to seamlessly watch videos from the US, Japan and India. Aside from the extensive selection of pirated movies available here (which are more entertaining for their subtitles than the video camera work in the theatre), the VCD (video compact disc) market is both legal and contains a number of children’s programs (mostly from the UK’s Hit Entertainment and in British English, one more layer to further complicate his language acquisition) that would cost many times the amount to buy in overseas. For example, one Bob the Builder VCD usually has 5-6, ten minute episodes, and costs around $3.75. I think in Japan, you’d get 4 episodes and pay around $45 for the DVD—no joke. Anyway, as far as children’s programs go, Kaia can watch some shows commercial free, which is nice. As an aside, I was really bothered by the commercialization of PBS children’s programming—who do they think that they’re fooling with the not-so-subtle sponsorships in-between programs? Anyway…

Relatively speaking, Kaia does not watch many videos. While he can sit for a good hour or two, it is not something that he consistently pines for, or at least, if he does, he can be re-directed quite easily. Currently, I’d say that he watches about 45-90 minutes, once a week, which we have taken to calling ‘special video time’, and generally is late on Friday afternoon when I’m burned out from the week and need to bridge the gap until my wife comes home. He seems to understand this, but there are times when ‘special video time’ needs to rescue indiapapa.

One of these times was yesterday. With my wife currently in Delhi on business, and Joyce on vacation for the day visiting a temple, the routine was disrupted and I needed some downtime for myself. While there are other ways to do this, sparking up the video is path of least resistance—it is no wonder that so many kids spend the time they do in front of the TV. We recently bought a VCD from the Kipper series—a cute little dog with furry animal friends—and he had been anxiously awaiting his viewing time, so upon startup, he was locked in and motionless, sans the usual drool hanging from his chin. After the 45 minute video completed, I was ready to move on with him to something else and told him that the video was over. Of course, he’d have none of that and started in with his “more Kipper” mantra, which naturally was met with my, “I’m sorry Kaia, video time is over”. Now, at the same time that we bought the Kipper video, we also purchased a new Bob the Builder video. I guess that, once he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere with the Kipper angle, and he remembered that we also had Bob, why not give that a try. It was here that a lifetime of negotiation took its first step. The exchange went something like this:

Kaia: Watch Bob? Watch Bob?
Indiapapa: How did you remember that? No, Kaia. No more videos.
Kaia: Please papa…just one? Just watch one?

Now I know that the intentions are rather subtle here, but it was so funny to me that he was actually trying to bargain with me that I had to laugh. It seems like, as his language and development takes off, that there are lots of these moments where you cannot help but chuckle at the actions of your child. How did this little guy, who just a few weeks ago was saying ‘no’ to everything, now understanding the proper context for negotiation? I’m sure I’ll look back on this moment with nostalgia when he’s 13 and asking me to stay out just an hour later or 16 negotiating for the car.

Why I Love this Time: The little running posture, with the hands open, palms forward, and arms straight. Back slightly arched, and running on tip-toes.