Birthday Party

Today we attended our first birthday party in India. A child from Kaia’s play group was turning two and, since receiving our invitation one week ago, I had been really looking forward to it. Of course, events at this age are completely about the parents and relatives, so I was looking forward to seeing how this expression of affection was different than in Japan or the US. Kaia had a good nap, so I think that he was just looking forward to riding his Uncle Sethu’s car. It wont be long before he can anticipate the wave of sugar and child (un)safe party favors that will mark his calendar until he becomes a teenager.

I had been thinking that the event would be somewhat formal, but I was a bit surprised (and embarrassed—at least I changed into long pants!) when we walked in the event (not at their home, but at an outdoor event center) and saw so many women dressed in glittering sari and men in their best pressed shirts and cruda wear. Of course, as a foreigner with an already odd look about him, I’m sure that any fashion faux pas were immediately forgiven, but I was relieved that at least I had put Kaia in a nice outfit.

Inside, waiters clad in black bow ties made their rounds with super sweet lemon ginger beverages that made me briefly crave the Santa Cruz Organics’ lemon ginger echinacea beverage that you can find in the western US, and the mingling and children running around could have been happening anywhere—that is, anywhere that has a dosai bar and fresh fried vegetable pakora. At this age, Kaia is not so interested in other children (unless they have something that he wants or they take something from him), and is very happy playing and exploring on his own. The new play structure, with age appropriate slide and rocking horse immediately captured his attention and we were off.

Some of the young boys who are around Kaia’s age and who are in Kaia’s playgroup have started to push and pinch. It is very interesting to see Kaia’s reaction whenever they do this to him as he is genuinely stunned that he is being deliberately hurt. It has happened enough now to see that he is, at this age, much more of a thinker than a reactive child. Some of these kids will immediately hit back or get this defiant posture, but I have to say that I am glad that Kaia seems to be a bit more gentle in his approach to aggressive behavior. We will see how he continues to develop, but for me retaliation—like ‘hit the other child back’ or ‘push them back’—is not acceptable, and is something that I’ve heard others say when these things happen to Kaia. In some strange way, it is actually kind of exciting when these very obvious ‘teachable moments’ happen because it is a great time as a parent to talk to your child and help them to understand and best respond.

In short, the party was a really nice event and Kaia had a fun time. The birthday cake was this (had to be 50-60 pound) monstrosity of a cake that had an almost life-sized spiderman on it, complete with all of the multiple colors and ridges to his costume. The taste test proved to be more sugar frosting than cake substance, but it was certainly a decorative sight to see. Unfortunately, it seems that the excitement of the party has led to further sickness and, while his fever broke over the weekend, there are still persistent issues that are clearly making him feel uncomfortable.

Why I Love this Time: everyday, being able to watch him sleep in the afternoon and how his nose twitches ever so slightly when the air from the fan hits him just right.