Palace

Yesterday was the community event at Kids Central where all of the children involved in the various programs at the school come together, with their parents, to enjoy each other’s company for a few hours. Usually they hold these events on the school grounds, but this time, for the first time, it was held at Chettinad Palace, a rather remarkable ‘house’ on the banks of the Adyar river. I had never been in a place quite like this in Chennai—and many of the folks who grew up in Chennai said the same thing. Kids Central was invited to hold their event there by the owner of the facility, who happens to have a 3 year old son and was sympathetic to how much children would love the large open spaces of the Palace ‘lawn’, not to mention the fountains and swimming pool. In all about 200 people attended the event, and there must have been 80-90 kids from ages one to five running around the grounds. I assume that they have good groundskeepers.

Kaia really enjoyed himself there, but it was the live music that seemed to get most of his attention. There were two musicians, one playing the flute and the other the tabla (see photo) and he was quite transfixed on their music. Even though the volume was beyond loud (as it always seems to be here), he would just stand in front of the stage and take it all in. He seemed to be the only child interested in what was going on up there.

It was a really nice event that resembled the weddings and birthday parties that I have been to: dosai bar, good food and lots of folks enjoying themselves. It will be hard for the folks at Kids Central to top their next community event.

Why I Love this Time: “rooook papa, rooook!”

Farm

The weather as of late has been spectacular: daytime temperatures in the high 70s, cool breezes coming off the Bay of Bengal for most of the day, and a ‘clean’ feeling from the last few weeks of rain. While I can’t seem to get a straight answer if the monsoon season is finished or not—some say it is over, others say there is another 3-4 weeks—there is little doubt that the most blazing of temperatures are behind us and the next few months are to be enjoyed. Of course, when it is so hot, you cannot rationally play outside for much time, and this has been a real negative about being here with Kaia. Compared to the United States, there are very few parks and open spaces that are kid and family friendly, so with super heat and little places to play outside, it has meant more time inside than I would have liked. For those of you who know indiapapa well, you know that I have long been an advocate for experiential/outdoor learning for children and there is a touch of irony that I have been unable to pursue this since coming to India with my own child. For this reason, it should be no surprise that I was looking forward with great anticipation to yesterday’s Kids Central field trip to a nearby farm. As well, Kaia was beside himself looking forward to seeing the ‘tractor and plow…we were ready for some fun out of doors.

The ride from Kids Central to the farm was a bit longer than I had expected, about 45 minutes down the Old Mahalibalipuram road, a road that floods terribly whenever it rains. Even though it has been close to a week since the last heavy rains, there are still huge pools of water on the road and vacant lots have been turned into small ponds. Of course, 1 week old standing water, next to a busy road, has turned the liquid that shade of blue-black that comes when you mix all the watercolors together. Or in this case, oil, trash, mud and animal waste. It is not a pretty sight. Throw on top of that the issue of mosquito breeding and infectious disease and you have a public health nightmare just about every time it rains. Anyway, we eventually made it down to the farm and Kaia immediately zeroed in on finding that tractor (see photo).

I was pleasantly surprised when we got there to learn that this farm is a 100% organic farm, not using any synthetic fertilizers or chemicals in the cultivation of their radishes, okra, turnips and other tree crops—including mango and guava. Again, indiapapa has a long history with farming organically, so this was a nice treat to visit a local farm and see what they’re up to. The farm was about 11 acres in size with close to half in cultivation. Many of the trees were still immature and a few years from meeting their full production capacity, and like with many organic farms, the weeds were numerous, but being managed nevertheless. Rain catchments were being used, as well as drip irrigation and some other water conservation techniques. As for animals, there was one cow, but the other farm staples that many come to expect in the farm landscape narrative—pigs, chickens, horses, etc—we nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, for Kaia, neither was any heavy machinery. This meant, of course, no tractor (see 'tractor's gone' photo).

The farm ended up being a lot further from Kids Central than many expected and, perhaps, the amenities of the farm left some parents disappointed. There were about 25 children and their parents and I noticed about 8-10 parents just standing around with their kids, unwilling to engage the situation either because they might get muddy or the farm was falling short of their expectations. We were told that we could roam around the farm fields and let the children play—and they WILL figure it out—so Kaia and I spent most of the time catching the numerous frogs and grasshoppers under the trees. I showed some of the frogs that we had caught to some of the other children and I heard a parent comment “well I guess there ARE some animals at this farm”. All I could think was that here was another urbanite void of imagination and creativity in the outdoors and expecting to be entertained. It was at that point that I realized how much I missed having my own (large) garden and being able to take Kaia out into it. Living here in India has had its benefits, but we are losing out on this time to learn and grow together in living soil. I’ve taught enough kids to see what happens when you take them outside and let them get dirty in the Earth. I am ready to get back and create a place where Kaia can do the same.

While there wasn’t any tractor, Kaia and I had a great time. In addition to the frogs and grasshoppers, Kaia got to meet another one of his long-time obsessions (the school bus, see photo) and pull out some immature radishes (photo). It was so great for him to get muddy and for me to not be on high alert for stray dogs, trash or searing heat. As a bonus, on the 45 minute ride home, there were an inordinately high number of diggers and bulldozers in action along the side of the road. Kaia was in heaven.

Later in the day, I received a phone call from Kaia’s teacher at Kids Central. She was calling, she said, to apologize for the field trip and how long of a drive it was, and how the farm was not so exciting and rather muddy. She said that she was calling all of the parents to apologize because this was the first time they had gone there and they didn’t know about some of these things. Of course, I told her how silly such an apology was and that we had a GREAT time. She was kind of taken aback, but very thankful saying that we were ‘too sweet’. After hanging up with her, all I could think was that a number of parents had complained to them about the fieldtrip and, judging from the 8-10 who were unwilling to participate at the farm, I can imagine who they were. It is too bad that these folks couldn’t let go of their expectations and just embrace the experience—or at least let their children do so. Just getting these kids outside is a rare treat in this city. Take advantage of it and, for God’s sake—lighten up!

Why I Love this Time: Squeeky hugs.

Stages

There are certain stages in Kaia’s development where I can’t wait for him to grow out of. The “screaming because you can’t understand me” or the “peeing on stuff just for fun” stages capture this desire in its purest form. On the other hand, there are periods where I feel the mirror emotions of bliss and sadness for times that I just don’t want to end. My first memories of these conflicting feelings—the first time that I had ever experienced such things—came when Kaia was a few days old and I was changing his diapers. It was a rather mundane moment, but I can remember how clear it was to me that time was already passing so quickly and that he would never be this age again. Since that time, there have been countless times when I have re-experienced these feelings, and recently it has been on a regular basis.

You see, ever since Kaia recovered from his illness, he has really grown up—a lot. I think that his being sick, forced him to verbally communicate in a more clear way and it is amazing the difference between the pre-sick Kaia and the post-sick Kaia. Whereas the pre-sick Kaia would just say “wanta, wanta, wanta” when he wanted something, the post-sick Kaia says, “Papa, Kaia wants (fill in the blank, although usually it is something sweet or a book)”. Also, driving around the city with him is like being with a junior tour guide. He can tell you that “Cedar’s Restaurant” is on your left, and the “Ganesh Temple” is on your right and the “Park Sheraton hotel” is coming up. It is really funny because I think that he has a better sense of the city than my wife does. He has also been so loving and cuddly—coming up behind you with surprise hugs and kisses, huge smiles and funny jokes---and he’s just been filling the house with his infectious laughter. Even at Kids Central they have noticed a big difference in his personality. The last two times that I have picked him up, his teacher Nidi has said how much he has been talking and engaging the activities with more excitement.

Ever since we came to India, time has taken on a very different pace and there is certainly a part of me that dislikes how the speed seems to have ratcheted up a few notches. Again, as I have written in earlier posts, I know that he will be sixteen before I even knew what happened: all the more reason to savor and mourn the passage of these precious, unforgettable times.

Why I Love this Time: Our lunches together out on the town where everyone knows his name—what a trip.

Sick

The paucity of posts recently has been the result of one thing: sickness. For the past 10 days or so, Kaia and I have been fighting off fever, mucus, dizziness, lethargy…just about all of the symptoms of that granddaddy of tropical diseases—malaria. With the rainy season in full swing and a mosquito breeding cycle of 3 days, well you have to think there always is this possibility. Fortunately, it seems that we’ve been spared. For now. Kaia is nearly back to his full spunk (and taking photos and climbing) and, while I am suffering from a cold and cough, the worst seems to be behind us. Needless to say, all things mental have been put on hold since he first got sick, so it will take some time to get back on the horse. I’ll say this, I can’t remember getting sick this often in my life—the combination of being here and having a little guy who is consistently being exposed to new stuff at school, is more than my body can handle, I guess.

Why I Love this Time: When he was just recovering and I asked him what we wanted to eat he said, “uttapham and vadai”. Too funny, this kid is truly a South Indian.

Diwali

Diwali is one of the most popular celebrations here in Chennai. Celebrated over five days, the ‘festival of lights’ is an important festival all over the country, but you would have to forgive the outsider who would think that it was more a ‘festival of noise’ than anything else. You see, for 2 or 3 days, around the clock, people of all ages take part in the progressively irritating ‘ritual’ of exploding firecrackers in the street. Now I can see the connection with the lighting of colorful fireworks and the spirit of Diwali—there is no stretch there—but when you have people lighting off a 100+ foot long string of inner ear thundering firecrackers (see photo), over and OVER and OVER again, there is every reason to wonder if this point here is to scare the bejeezus out of everyone—from stray dog to blue faced god. The problem of noise is something that many in the city are concerned about, as you can see in the dozens of Letters to the Editor in the local newspapers, leading up to Diwali. Just this last year, an upper cap was put on the firecracker decibels, but I can’t imagine that it did much good.

At first, Kaia was intrigued by the lights and noise that were coming from the street below our flat. A few days before Diwali, when the noise had already begun and we had no idea what we were in store for, he would run to the window to watch. However, by the time that the meat of the celebration had begun, it was like a war zone outside of our place. I have heard this analogy used before to describe loud situations, but in this case, it really sounded like machine gun fire and bombs (literally) going off just outside our window. Poor little guy was terrified, and while he did eventually get used to it, there was one time where he was in a room by himself and I found him curled up in the fetal position crying from the noise.

What compounded the challenge of being here during this time was that Kaia was very sick. He was running a 103 degree fever and he gave it to me as well. So here we are, lying in bed, trying to recover and rest, and there is a gunfight raging outside of our window. Not the best way to get healthy fast.

So, I think that the lesson learned here for the noise-averse foreigner is to get out of the country during Diwali. If, for some reason, we are still in India next November, I’ll be sure that we’re not in India, if you know what I mean.

Why I Love this Time: The little arc he takes when running out of a room and turning to go at a 90 degree angle.