Sunday, June 19, 2005

Father's Day

What would indiapapa be without an entry on Father’s Day? Well, since I spent the day by myself, getting an ayurvedic massage with gallons of oil, away from Kaia, there isn’t so much to write.

Why I Love this Time: He now, sometimes, calls me by my first name.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


The Simplest Seuss for Youngest Use Posted by Hello

Dr. Seuss

It seems almost as if, from the time they exit the comforts of the womb, as much as a child is growing and developing, they are on a collision course with certain, truly inescapable, cultural icons. Like death and taxes, so is the inevitability of Dr. Seuss and over the last few weeks, our home has been filled with Wockets and Zeds and Zingers and Gacks, bouncing off the walls and back.

Actually, one of the first books that I ever read to Kaia was Dr. Seuss’s ABC. For the baby shower for Kaia that our friends held for us, we asked people not to being presents, but rather to come with their favorite childhood book to help build Kaia’s library. In addition to being a great way to bring out people’s “stories about the stories”, it also made for a lot of fun and we received some great books that we might never have known about. Of course, most of the books we had heard about before and Dr. Seuss was expectedly the most popular author. ABC was in “board book” form and I started reading to him when he was just a few days old….Aunt Annie’s Alligator, A a A.

Kaia has always had a love for books and for reading, yet for the longest time the Dr. Seuss books were not moving from their place on the bookshelf. Books about Curious George and Pigeons Driving Busses (anything about busses for that matter) were well worn and I will forever be able to recite those stories by memory. Yet something happened a few weeks back and Kaia pulled out Hop on Pop and thrust it into my face, ‘bap ban bap, bap ban bap’. My tongue hasn’t been the same since.

In fact, I like Dr. Seuss quite a bit. I can imagine how radical it must have been to the stogy old-school children’s literature establishment to have these maddening and elliptical rhymes accompanied by such hybrid creatures as Yinks and Gox. Recently an Indian friend told me that he doesn’t ‘get’ Dr. Seuss. I suppose that on many levels, there isn’t a whole lot to get…perhaps this is the point, and most certainly the fun. However, as much as I appreciate how Seussian writing changed the genre, I must say that, from a parent who is being asked to read these over and over, I am quickly growing tired of it. I am not ashamed to say that, after a few readings of Fox in Socks, I am exhausted! Think I’m a lightweight? Try this out, and these are only a few pages:

Well then... bring your mouth this way.
I'll find it something it can say.

Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck's duck licks lakes.

Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.
I can't blab such blibber blubber!
My tongue isn't make of rubber.

Mr. Knox. Now come now. Come now.
You don't have to be so dumb now....
Try to say this, Mr. Knox, please....

Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.


But, I suppose that I have no one to blame but myself. You see, children’s books are so inexpensive in India (all books for that matter), and the Random House line of Dr. Seuss and other Cat in the Hat labeled ‘beginner books’ (written and illustrated by other people, like the classic ‘Go, Dog. Go!’, which Kaia calls ‘Dog, go, go!’) are less than half the price of what you would pay in the U.S. It is the same book, in fact the price in US dollars is inscribed on the back, so of course what ends up happening is that you just spend the same amount of money and buy twice as many books as you would in the States. Funny how this bit of consumerism works. So what has happened is that Kaia’s interest in these books has led me to the bookstore with him, where we proceed to fill our basket and, in just over two weeks, we now find ourselves with 14 different stories, each with its own maddening poetic meter. If you don’t see any posts over the next few weeks, know it is from Death by Seuss that I perished.

Stop it! Stop it!
That's enough, sir.
I can't say such silly stuff, sir.

Amen.

Why I Love this Time: His growing love for animals.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Our First Day


Out First Day Posted by Hello

Kaia and Valli Aunty Posted by Hello

The Kids Central Playground Posted by Hello

First Day

There are certain moments as a parent where you become acutely aware of the rapid passage of time and, as a result, vibrations of emotion well up so that it requires a deep breath just to remain composed. Of course, there are times usually associated with rites of passage and ceremony—birth, marriage, etc.—where containment is not possible, but it is these lesser events that truly enrich your life. For me, often these moments come in tension as I can find myself savoring the beauty of a moment while mourning its passage. The first few months after Kaia’s birth, I was experiencing these on a regular basis, almost everyday finding all my love and attention directed at this beautiful little being, while at the same time being sad that I would never have this moment again with him. It is truly a gift when you can be aware enough—even more so have the headspace as we are so easily consumed by this or that--to recognize the significance of a particular time or moment. Today was one of those times as Kaia went off to his first day of pre-school.

You may recall that, in an earlier post, I talked about a not-so-nice experience in a playgroup that led to our departure. Fortunately, just as one door must close for another to open, a spot opened up in a terrific school called Kids Central, most certainly the best in the city for his age group. Kids Central was started by my good friend (and fellow dissertator) Muthatha’s cousin, a woman named Valli. Over the last 5-7 years she has succeeded in creating a wonderful place for kids to learn and explore in a very positive learning environment, and also built, without any doubt, the best playground in the city. The fact that we can use a playground and not fight turf wars with packs of stray dogs, step over sleeping men, and be wary of razor sharp, rusting edges on every slide and monkey bar, is alone worth the enrollment fees.

While we started going to Kids Central back in April, the official term did not begin until today because the months of April and May are summer vacation for children in this area. Kaia and I would go together and play outside or, when it got too hot (and it could be up to 105 sometimes!), we would go inside and play with the hundreds of toys waiting to be used. Over the summer, Valli encourages new children to come to Kids Central as much as they would like, so that they can get used to the place and the transition can be less traumatic for them. We took her up on the offer and probably ended up going on the average of about 2 times a week. Since there were rarely any other children there when we would go, Kaia had the run of the place and all of the attention of the many teachers who were there preparing for the next term. It was a really great experience for him (and I) and by the end of May, he was waking me up at 6:30am asking to go to “Kids Cee”.

Starting from yesterday evening, I had telling Kaia that we would be going to Kids Central, but that this time “papa would be away for one hour while Kaia played with his ‘Aunties’ and new friends, is this OK with you?” Usually he’ll grunt something resembling a yes when I ask him questions, but sometimes he’ll not say anything, which I interpret as him saying, “I’m no so sure if I like that idea Papa”. I had seen and heard enough to expect that he would have a severe reaction if I just left him without saying anything, but his response left me wondering what kind of ‘kid being left at school for the first time’—the Crazy Screamer? Mr. Ambivalent? The Naughty ‘Acting Out’ boy? I would know soon enough.

So we made our way to Kids Central, our road passing parallel to the just-under-construction “IT Corridor”. They have put up fiberglass sheets to separate the road from the area that they presumably are going to build, and just last week painted them a crisp shade of sky blue that will lose its gloss faster than you can say “dirt, urine and betelnut”. If you look just to the other side of the road, also running parallel to the road and the future “IT corridor” you will see the skeleton of a partially finished (or is it begun) project in connecting this part of the city to the train system. It is truly a strange sight to see this massive partial project, replete with dangling re-bar and piles of concrete shards, and usually there are one or two guys doing work on some minor pylon. But I digress.

Jumping forward to the arrival at Kids Central and it was clear that Kaia was thinking that something was rather different with this visit. Whereas we would usually come and have the run of the place, there were dozens of children and mothers (all mothers), each in their own varying stages of separation anxiety. We made our way to the entrance and found his new cubby hole, labeled with his name, to place his shoes. For some reason, seeing the little “Kaia” written on the sticker made me a little choked up, but it soon passed as we moved inside.

One of the things that made me laugh in preparation for this was how I had to prepare a change of clothes for him to keep at school, that had his name on each item. When I ran a summer school for K-5 children, I found it to be very helpful to know who’s shirt was who’s after a dip in the pool or a swim at the beach. But this time I was on the other side, scrawling “Kaia Yamamoto” into the collar of his ‘beetle’ t-shirt and wondering if I was the only one using a marker and if most other moms sewed a label in.

Once inside, there were already two or three kids crying and calling for their ‘mommies’. Expectedly, Kaia clung a bit tighter to me but he was ever watchful, his inquisitive and thoughtful look betrayed by the stream of drool coming down his chin. We sat down to play with some puzzles that had been put out for the children, and he had no interest—what were all these kids so upset about? He had to know. Within a few moments, Valli came up to Kaia and asked him if he wanted to play. She held out her arms and he went to her. It was time for me to leave.

Now I cannot say that I shed any tears as I slipped out of the room and headed out for a drink. However, it is certain that I could feel the passage of this moment with complete clarity. We have never used babysitters and Kaia has always been with either my wife or I, outside of a few times when we saw a movie and left him with my parents. Granted, this was just one hour, but I was now experiencing trust on a different level—trust that he would be cared for, trust that he had everything he needed, trust that I would be able to let go. For any others looking in, this is such a minor issue, but for a first-time parent this is a major milestone. There is a lot of truth to the statement that it is, ‘harder for the parents’.

When I came back one hour later, I was greeted by Valli, who was carrying Kaia. I braced myself for news that he struggled through the 60 minutes, but before I could open my mouth, she said that he was ‘as happy as can be’. Apparently he spent most of the time observing the other children cry and fuss over their mothers, probably in shock as to how all of the sudden Kids Central had been transformed from his personal playground into a house of raving mad toddlers. I don’t blame him, I would have done the same thing.

On the car ride back I was feeling a small sense of satisfaction that he had not cried or gotten overly upset. Was I really proud of such a silly thing that next time could be just the opposite? As I held his water bottle and he took a long drink, we came to a stop light. Immediately, a spindly woman clutching a small child, probably around Kaia’s age, started to rap at the window. Over and over she pleaded ‘please, please’ and made a point with her fingers and brought it to her mouth. The small child did the same, but with a slight grin, the same kind that Kaia gets when he successfully apes my actions. It must have been close to 100 degrees outside, even more in and around all of these vehicles. Seconds later, the light turned green and we joined the mass of humanity getting from here to there, passing by the now.

Why I Love this Time: Dr. Seuss and goo-goo goggles.